Top Ten New Year Resolutions

1. I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
   
   
2. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
   
   
3. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
   
   
4. I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
   
   
5. I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
   
   
6. I will think of a password for my computer other than "password."
   
   
7. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 11 e-mail addresses.
   
   
8. I will go into McDonald's and order a McSpreader.
   
   
9. I will go into McDonald's and order a McSlurry.
   
   
10. I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.