THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. (so true!)

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Most dogs are immortal.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill, just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.