New Language...HICKBONICS

The Association of Southern Schools decided to designate Southern slang, or Hickbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools, thus qualifying for federal funding. A speaker of Hickbonics would henceforth be referred to as a Hick-o-phone. The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary, U of Jacksonville Press



Heidi (noun) - Greeting.


Hire Yew - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"


Bard (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup."


Jawjuh (noun) - The State north of Flurida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from
Jawjuh bard my pickup."


Bammer (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader
jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."


Munts (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup, and
I ain't herd from him in munts."


Bare (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah'll have
a bare."


Thank (verb) - Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have
a bare."


Ignert (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure
are ignert!"


Ranch (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back
of that pickup my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."


All (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh
puts all in my pickup."


Far (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my
pickup, that thang's gonna catch far."


Tar (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't
git a flat tar in my pickup."


Tire (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' an' the creek don't rise, I sure do hope
to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."


Retard (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."


Fat (noun, verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You
younguns keep fat'n, 'n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."


Rats (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are
rats."


Farn (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstan a wurd he sed. Must be from
some farn country."