Classified Ads

Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD
PART STUPID DOG

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY
DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO
REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

(AND THE BEST ONE...)

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.