Church Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Parish information, read only during the homily.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-
sync.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the
congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:

1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health coverage.
   
   
2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most churches.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a
pew!