You Know Your Having A Bad Day When

- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

- You wake up face down on the pavement.

- You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

- You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

- You see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.

- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

- You turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes
out of your city.

- The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your
wife.

- Your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a
group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

- You have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up.

- You need one bathroom scale for each foot.

- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

- Your income tax refund check bounces.

- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

- Your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news..."