Born A Virgin and Died A Virgin

In a tiny village lived an old maid, she was still a virgin and very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone:

"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin."

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady's wish was. The men went to carve it in, but as the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription was too long, so they simply wrote:

"Returned Unopened."