The Pirate Story

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean matee?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now, aye."

"Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

"We were in another fierce battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. Me hand was cut off matee. I got me arm fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew overhead I looked up and one of them pooped in me eye, aye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird poop!"

"aye, true, but it is was my first day with the hook."